The Scientist is Passé, The Sadhu is in Vogue!


Sharma auntie’s son is an engineer, and Mathur uncle’s daughter is a doctor. Oh! No, I mean every Sharma ji’s son is an engineer and every Mathur ji’s daughter is a doctor. Why are we so obsessed with engineers and doctors? It is obvious, isn’t it? We believe that doctors and engineers, of all other professionals, make the best money. And then there are the auditoriums full of aspiring models and actors. What do they seek? It is probably fame, glamour and even a large fan following! What’s the best career option for that? The entertainment industry, wouldn’t you agree?

What if I told you that you are under a false impression? What if I told you that there is a better option? Believe it or not, but there certainly is such a profession where can have money, fame, fan following and even reverence (*conditions apply). Yes, you’ve guessed it right. I am talking about the new age sadhu!

Celebrated and venerated, the holy man is now the ultimate professional icon. Consider this: you have a very flexible job, one that moulds into your moods and schedules. You want to settle abroad? Easy, you can start your an ashram anywhere in the world! And that reminds me; you could just learn some yoga and teach some gullible foreigners who will pay a small fortune to receive this ancient wisdom. No kidding. Some of our country’s holy-men have a bank statement larger than entire nations’ budgets! Talking of budgets, remember that Trust of yours? It can gain you a much sought-after tax rebate. Sadhus are next in line to Politicos when it comes to “controversy and scam rights” and are nearly as immune to any law and authority. Need proof? Just pick up any newspaper. Thanks to the godly orange robes, sadhus can now exercise their democratic freedom!

There’s more to the profession than money. Some of our holy men and astrologers enjoy a greater follower base than any Bollywood star. Walk into a temple and the next thing you know, people are joining hands in tribute to “swamiji”. Hundreds of people will flock to your ashram, seeking your holy knowledge. Did I mention? These “people” who will flock to you, they are no common people, no peasants. They are amongst the most renowned names of the country!

Entertainment or Engineering, competition is high and demand is fast fizzing out. But look at the career of the sadhu. Considering India’s population and the people’s tendency to take second and even third astrological opinions, there is no such thing as low demand. And competition? Well, there is some from our East-Asian peers, but it’s nothing substantial. So, at the end of the day, there’s everything you need.

Convinced, aren’t you? There’s even better news. To become a successful sadhu, you need not join any coaching centre and study day and night for an entrance exam. You don’t even need to wait for long hours at an audition hall only to know that you’ve not been selected! All you need is a nice orange robe, a distinct style statement and if you have a conscience, some knowledge of yoga and astrology. Peace, alas!

*as long as you don’t get caught for a misdeed.

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